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Which is much dangerous when scorned, INFP or ENFP?

(From Quora)

Short Answer

Depends on the degree of scorn.

They both show anger in the same way really but in reverse order. INFPs first respond by cutting you out when angry and it is only when they fail to do that, they will confront you by it. ENFPs first will confront you in anger and it is only when they fail to do so, that they will cut you out.

That said, both these types are slow to anger in general and are more dangerous than other types. Also, they suffer themselves too when angry.

Long Answer

You normally prefer your first function and only sometimes the second function. The third function is enacted in response to a bad situation and often rules your anger. It is often activated when the responses from the first two functions have The fourth makes you really dark and totally unlike yourself – making you toxic for the other person. So we have two degrees of danger – anger under third function and darkness in the fourth function.

In the third function, the anger can still be reasoned with and you might still be forgiven. It is all out death when a person goes to fourth-degree scorn.

Third Function showing anger

INFPs – Si cutting out

In the INFPs, the third function is Si. The function makes them just cut people off from their life – as if in a self-defense instinct. The cutting off might be quick or it might be very slow depending on the development of anger. If you really like them, it will fall cruelly on you either way. Since it is still only a third-degree, this anger can be managed and INFPs will let you find your way back if you plead your apologies or because they are regretting their anger.

ENFPs – Te Whip

In ENFPs, the third function is Te. Te tends to make them want to assume control over things and even people – they want to bend you according to their will and will use sarcasm and other taunts (called Te whiplash) to do it.

A Te whiplash is worst when in hands of xNFP in case they know the scorned well enough, this is because their first two functions (Fi-Ne or Ne-Fi) equips them with knowledge of your weaknesses. In their normal days, they are too caring, kind and unjudging to use those weaknesses against you. They know exactly where it will hurt you most. But when Te takes over, they will show you the mirror. Since it is still only third function and not forth, ENFPs can still be reasoned with and they might still forgive you.

That said the Te whip cuts on both ends though when in hands of XNFPs. They themselves suffer from heavy regret after using it and might regret it.

Fourth function darkness

INFPs – Te whiplash

Compared to ENFP, Te whip is worse in hands of INFPs because it being their fourth (shadow) they have completely succumbed to darkness when they use it. Te whiplash, in this case, is only unleashed on ones INFP really loves or the family, and thus ones INFP was unable to cut from his or her life when angry at them (using Si). Thus he suppressed his or her anger which has darkened him inside. A darkened INFP is like a Bruce Banner turned into a Hulk only it is not your bones he will smash, but rather your emotions. Unlike ENFPs, it ain’t about showing mirrors anymore, it is about pure Heathcliff style vengeance. He will regret it himself of course but he will make you hate yourself for having hurt him.

ENFPs – Si cutting out

ENFPs don’t normally cut people off their life. They will do so only when their Te anger failed on them repeatedly or because they are unable to show their anger that way to you. Compared to INFPs, their cutting you off is even worse. As there might not be any signs at all. Today they are talking all jolly to you and tomorrow you are blocked, dead from them with no way to reach back to them. If you do reach them, they can’t be reasoned (unlike with INFPs above). You might be left to wonder for the rest of your life whatever you did wrong.

Copyright – Sidharth Vardhan

2 thoughts on “Which is much dangerous when scorned, INFP or ENFP?”

  1. Hello! Im an Enfp and my boyfriend is an Infp and I was just mind blown because everything you just said is totally like that!!! I just had a big fight with my boyfriend, I basically hurt him and I didnt apologize correcly, I thought I did but I failed, so he got really angry and got into fourth function darkness, so he basically did the whiplash on me. I gave him some time and wrote him an apologetic letter, and it kinda worked, but he said that his trust in me has been lost. He really is hurt and angry, and we still havent talked in person because of covid. I wanted to ask if you perhaps have some tips on how to approach an hurt and angry infp, what could maybe help or so, since I really dont want to lose him. Sorry for the long question and thank you very much, the post really was mind blowing!!

    1. Just keep telling him you love him. Don’t try to explain anything, just apologise where it is due and tell him you love him. It will take some time but he will probably get better.

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